this is long. sorry

purple: 10 facts about my room.

1. i sleep next to a cracked mirror covered in wallpaper. i’ve always wondered if i’d see blood if i peeled back the paper
2. i have fifty billion piano and violin books all over the place
3. and a piano in the corner.
4. the bathroom’s right there so i can have my midnight wees without interruption
5. i sleep next to a veranda which is cool i guess but then i also have major dust allergy issues so yuck
6. it’s small
7. i haven’t changed my calendar since august
8. it’s not decorated at all
9. my bed’s the biggest thing in the room
10. there’s three plants in this domicile

yellow: 7 facts about my childhood

1. one time i downloaded $200 worth of phone games on my parents’ phone and blamed it on this kid. he got in trouble and i never felt bad
2. i got into a fight when i was four but we took turns. like actual turns
3. one time i wrote a ten chapter sailor moon fanfiction on word document and then printed it out and showed everybody and then this biTCH adult told me that i could get sued. hence five years writer’s block
4. when i was in sixth grade i wouldn’t do anything but read books. i would fail all my classes. because i’d read books all the fucking time
5. my mom made me read catcher in the rye when i was nine because all she knew was that it was a classic and she didn’t know that it’s very suitable for malcontent teenagers. i understood a lot of it
6. one time someone fell down the stairs really funny like. like it wasn’t head first they fucking rolled horizontally down the stairs. i laughed. i made no friends that day
7. my second grade teacher was one of those malcontent weirdly volatile teachers and basically i asked her if she had a boyfriend. she said no and i was like ‘haha i’ll get u one’. and then she kept on asking throughout the school year, jokingly, if i found her one. i got rlly uncomfortable.

white: 3 facts about your personality.

1. i have major attachment issues. i don’t think it’s because i have trauma regarding relationships. i just grew up in an environment where trying didn’t happen a lot and i just don’t feel like trying either anymore
2. if i don’t have anything to even if i think the conversation’s interesting, i will literally just drop out of a conversation. this paints me as a little bit aloof and awkward sometimes but i just stopped caring along the way because y’all need to understand that i’m not making massive efforts just to feed your conversational ego
3. speaking of egos, i have a massive, fragile one. the only true thing that tempers it is my penchant for deep introspection. it stems from my musicianship, the family history, my volatile reactions to my struggles, and my self-confidence.